


Ambulate In Via Iterum

by Redorangeyellowflickerbeat



Series: Ambulate In Via Iterum [1]
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Always a girl Ed, Angst, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Genderbending, I guess at least, I mean. The stuff i have planned is angst, If you don't like genderbends turn back now, Major character death - Freeform, Time Travel Fix-It, Truth is mean, Updated First Chapter, and undeath
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-20
Updated: 2018-01-24
Packaged: 2018-07-25 13:28:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 4,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7534534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Redorangeyellowflickerbeat/pseuds/Redorangeyellowflickerbeat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eden realized pretty quickly that her immediate agreement to Truth’s terms may have been a bit reckless. For one thing, she was an infant. With the mind of a twenty two year old. This would be interesting, at least. And maybe she'd get to change a few things - perhaps even her mother's death.</p><p>UPDATE: On Hiatus indefinitely.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Death and Rebirth

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Redo](https://archiveofourown.org/works/744971) by [StillNotGinger10](https://archiveofourown.org/users/StillNotGinger10/pseuds/StillNotGinger10). 
  * Inspired by [Reverti Ad Praeteritum](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6226465) by [Batsutousai](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Batsutousai/pseuds/Batsutousai). 



> Hello folks. Just gotta say a few things.
> 
> IF YOU DO NOT LIKE GENDERBENDS, TURN BACK NOW. I WILL NOT TOLERATE HATE FOR MY CHOICE. I DON'T HATE NORMAL PAIRINGS, I JUST WANTED TO WRITE GENDERBENT.
> 
> I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist. This is obvious. Don't. Sue. Me.

   Amestris had changed a lot in the last few years. A new Fuhrer, who came an official parliament that actually had power and pushed the rebuilding of Ishval. Things were - finally - moving in a better direction. Alchemy research was far less war driven and more technological advancement now, a movement which Eden supported as best as she could. She could share her research, and encourage others to keep trying, even if she could no longer do alchemy herself any more. In fact, she was about to go into one of the classes at Central University and talk to the students. Some of whom were older than her, but she didn’t care. She knew they would respect her, they always did. Being the former Hero of the People and the Fuhrer’s wife had its perks.  
  
   Eden glanced over at the guard she was required to have with her; Roy threw fits when she ditched the man so she just lived with it. The guy wasn't so bad, he could actually hold a decent conversation, even if he wasn't an alchemist. Though, she didn’t care much as she wasn’t one anymore herself. He reminded her a little of Hughes, without the constant pictures and gushing (though, now she wouldn't have minded those things if it meant the man would have been alive.) “Everything clear?” she asked, somewhat blandly. It would be, she knew it, but he had to keep the standard procedure.  
  
   “Yes, ma’am. Go on in.” he answered finally, nodding her through. Eden entered the room and smiled at the class of students, all of them bright eyed, excited to hear from the Fullmetal Alchemist. They all watched her, stars in their eyes, as she walked up to the podium. She didn’t notice one, right by the door, with his hand in his jacket who was looking at her darkly.  
  
   When Eden began to walk up the stairs, it happened. There was only a rustle of movement before a loud bang and screams filled her ears. There were a few moments where Eden could only register everything around her in a hazy state before she could suddenly feel the bullet that had lodged itself in her lung. She realized she had fallen off the platform, and that her guard was running after the guy who had shot her. She was blinking black spots from her vision, struggling to draw in breaths as she tried her best not to cough up the blood that rose like bile in her throat.  
  
   Her vision blurred as her eyelids grew heavy, and they fell shut as she lost energy, letting out a shaky, coughing breath before her body went still.  
  
*  
  
   Eden opened her eyes to see an empty white expanse. She barely turned her head and saw a figure standing there, a grin curling its features. Said figure was white, faceless other than the grin, about her size, roughly. “Truth.” she whispered, and while she couldn't feel her own heartbeat she felt fear fill her veins.

  
   “Hello, Alchemist. I didn't think you'd be able to do it. I never anticipated you'd do the impossible so many times.” Truth said. “Please, sit. We need to have a nice long discussion.” they said, gesturing to the ground.  
  
   Eden hesitated before she sat down, crossing her legs - it was strange to have her real one, and didn't make sense in her mind. “How am I here? I gave up my Gate.” she said, watching Truth sit across from her.  
  
   “You're dead, Alchemist. Got shot in the lung, choked on your own blood.” Truth told her, watching her without eyes.  
  
   Eden felt like she had jumped in ice water. She was… dead? “N-no… you're lying. You- you have to be!” she stuttered out, face pale.  
  
   “You heard what I said, Alchemist. You're dead. There's nothing you can do about it.” Truth was not amused, but she couldn't find it in her to care while she thought of the life that had just slipped from her hands.  
  
   “I-I’m dead… I'll never…” tears filled Eden’s eyes, and her shoulders shook as she let out choked sobs, covering her mouth with one hand. She'd never see Roy again. She'd never get to see the fulfillment of any of the plans they had talked about… they'd never be fulfilled, unless he remarried. She didn't know how long she cried there, but Truth was silent through it all. She would later guess that it was days, weeks worth of time in the human world. When she finally straightened up, stopped her crying and put herself back together, she saw Truth sitting there, reclining on one hand.  
  
   “Are you done?” Truth spoke in a bland tone. “You humans always cry and it's kind of annoying.” they said.  
  
   “I-I…” Eden let out a few shaky breaths despite the fact she didn’t think she actually needed to breathe, before she nodded. “I’m done.” she said.  
  
   “Finally! Now, let’s get down to business. You weren’t supposed to be conscious. Simple as that. It was not supposed to happen, but look at you! Messing with my system once again! So, I’ve got two lovely options for you, Alchemist.” Truth was grinning. Truth grinning meant bad things.  
  
Before she could ask what they were, Truth continued to speak to tell her. “You can stay here with me for all eternity,” Eden cringed at the _thought_ of that, “or I can create a gate for you and send you through it. It will send you back in time, to your birth, but you will live once more.”  
  
   “Will I remember?” Eden asked, thinking fast, mind racing. If she got a second chance… she could change so much. She could stop her father from leaving (maybe), and maybe even her mother. She hoped she could save her mother the most. If not, she could protect Alphonse better. She wouldn’t commit the taboo, not again, and would keep him from doing so. He wouldn’t be armor. She wouldn’t allow it. She would have to sacrifice the love she held, but for Alphonse to have a normal childhood… Yes, it was worth it. As much as it made her stomach knot up.  
  
   “Yes, you will. What do you say, Alchemist? Option one, or option two?” Truth leaned forward, waiting for her answer with a grin on their face.  
  
   “Option two.” Eden answered, after a long few moments. Truth stood up, as did she, and she watched over her own shoulder as a gate formed behind her. It opened and black arms reached out, grabbing her. She didn't fight it while it pulled her through the Gate and into darkness, closing her eyes and relinquishing herself.  
  
**  
  
   Trisha Elric smiled tiredly as Pinako handed her the child she had spent the last seven hours in labor for. Wrapped in a soft white blanket, the baby’s skin was pretty red, which was understandable, but Trisha still found her baby girl to be beautiful. The baby, who had been crying before this, calmed as Trisha cradled her. “Hello Eden…” Trisha spoke gently, eyes soft.  
  
   “I'll let Van in.” Pinako told Trisha, receiving a nod in response. The short woman walked out, beckoning the tall blonde who had been pacing outside the door to enter.  
  
   Van Hohenheim walked in, relaxing a bit when he saw Trisha holding little Eden. “How are you feeling?” he asked, walking over. He kissed Trisha’s head and looked at Eden, smiling a bit.  
  
   “I'm pretty tired,” Trisha said softly, “But mostly happy.” she added. “Beautiful isn't she? She definitely has your hair. We won't know about her eyes for a few months, but I hope she gets yours.” she added.  
  
   Van hummed. “Either way I'll be happy.” he said, watching Eden open blue eyes and look at him. His breath was almost taken away at the intelligence already in her eyes. His momentary fear calmed when she cooed and waved her hand a little bit. Nothing was amiss. “Hello, Eden.” he said, gently, smiling just a tad.  
  
***  
  
   Eden realized pretty quickly that her immediate agreement to Truth’s terms may have been a bit reckless. For one thing, she was an _infant_ . With the mind of a _twenty two year old_ . This would be interesting, at least. When she first woke up everything was bright and hurt her eyes, and she couldn't stop the immediate crying that began. She had a feeling she wouldn't be able to control that response much.  
  
   Just as her involuntary crying started to pick up she was passed into the arms of one person who immediately made her relax. The soft thrumming beat of her mother's heart was calming, gentle fingers calmed frazzled nerves and her gentle voice made her melt. _Mom._ She thought, relaxing immediately.  
  
   She heard another voice, but couldn't find herself willing to put the mental strength to decipher it, until someone else came in. Eden finally looked away from her mother to look straight into the gold eyes of Van Hohenheim. She had to remind herself to act like a baby for a moment, forcing out a quiet coo and a little bit of arm waving- that might have been a threat of a punch - that seemed to calm the surprised man. He spoke to her, just a little greeting, and she cooed again, less forced this time. For the first time, but definitely not the last, she wondered how she was going to pull this off.


	2. (Re)Growing Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A summary chapter of Eden growing up -- with lots of plot details mixed in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...Before you start I must say this. Forgive me now.

It had not taken long for Trisha Elric and Van Hohenheim to find their daughter wasn't… normal. She rarely cried, and seemed to understand their conversations despite her young age. One time this was less believed was when the girl was teething. She cried after she started cutting teeth like any child, threw temper tantrums, the like.   
  
They were driven to tears in a day. Or, at least, Trisha was. She handed the crying - wailing - Eden to Van and left the room with tears in her eyes, leaving her husband to soothe the infant while watching her leave with worry.   
  
“Shh, Eden, shh. It won't hurt for much longer. I promise.” Van said, forcing himself to be gentle and composed. He was surprised when the girl balled up her little fists and started hitting him in her tantrum-throwing state, one of those small fists hitting him in the mouth in a manner harder than he expected from an infant. He worked his jaw a tad as he grabbed her fists with one hand. “No hitting, little one. It's not nice.”   
  
The girl blew spit bubbles at him from the drool she was constantly producing. He suspected that the girl would be telling him to screw off if she was older - even if he didn't know why she disliked him so. Eden had never liked him, crying and screaming whenever he held her. He hated it.   
  
“Why do you hate me, Eden?” Van sighed. Eden gurgled around her fist in response, and he shook his head. “Look at me, asking an infant why they hate me. My own daughter, no less.” he sighed, pressing a kiss to the crown of the girl’s head.   
  
_ He's not the man that left. He's not. He won't leave. He won't. That's the first thing I'm changing. _ Eden thought, looking up at Van.   
  
*   
  
From then on, something flipped in Eden. She stopped hating Van, instead seeking his affection out. Affection the man didn't mind giving, far too relieved that his daughter didn't despise him to care.   
  
When Eden was a year old, another child was born to the Elrics. Alphonse, her baby brother. He looked the same as she remembered, hair that was more yellow than her gold. Trisha and Van were both relieved to see her being so happy to play with the boy. They had been nervous about her behavior, but there didn't seem to be a single problem.   
  
**   
  
A few years passed faster than was thought possible, and Van came to the realization that for the safety of his family, he would have to leave. Something was going on in Amestris, and he had to stop it. He was packing, back turned to the case when the door was pushed further open, not noticing someone had entered until he turned around to put something in his case. The case that was now closed, with a small five year old girl sitting atop it. Said girl had scraped up knees as children were oft to have. “Eden,” Van said, softly, “what are you doing?”   
  
“Not letting you leave.” Eden said. “I know if you do you don't plan to come back.” she said. She looked sad. Hurt, even. And all too smart for her age. Van looked in her eyes and saw an adult in a child's eyes. An adult who had seen too much, no less.   
  
“What makes you think that, sweetheart?” Van asked, swallowing the lump in his throat that had begun to form.  _ How does she know I was leaving in the first place? Why does she think I won't come back? _   
  
“You didn't come back until I was fifteen last time.” Eden said. She watched the shock cross Van’s face, along with confusion. “I'm living my life for the second time. That's why I know so much. I know you and mom have been curious.” she decided to explain. “I died last time. When I was in my twenties. But it doesn't matter. I'm begging you, please don't leave dad. Not again. Don't make me go through that again. Don't make Al go through that.”   
  
Van was shocked. His daughter… was living life for the second time? And he hadn't come back last time? When she started begging his resolve wavered. “I… I won't go. I won't leave you, or your mother.” he promised. Suddenly Eden was hugging him, crying softly. He rubbed her back as he held her. He had never expected this… he almost felt numb he was in such a state of shock.   
  
***   
  
The following year was rough. The Ishvalan Civil War hit hard, and despite her best efforts, Eden couldn't save Winry’s parents. So, she tried to help her friend through it as best as she could.   
  
Eden was tired when she came home from spending all day with Winry, opening the door. “I'm back!” she called out.   
  
“Eden.” Van saw her, standing up from where he sat on the couch. There was a tight look around his eyes, and Eden stopped in her tracks to stare up at him.   
  
“Dad?” Eden asked softly, stepping forward. She noticed his hands shaking and her pace quickened to be in front of him.   
  
“Did you know, Eden? Did you know she was sick?” Van asked, quietly, as he fell heavily onto the couch cushions, head in his hands.   
  
_ She’s sick? Already? Isn’t it too early? Had she been hiding it for that long? _ Eden thought frantically. “I knew she was going to get sick but I didn’t think she would be sick so soon…” she replied shakily.   
  
“She’s deathly ill already Eden. The doctor put her on bed rest.” Van said, looking up at her. His eyes were bloodshot, red rimmed. He had been crying. “He gave her a few months at most.” he replied.   
  
_ No! It’s too soon! Please, don’t make me lose her so soon after getting her back… _ Eden closed her eyes and pressed her hands against them as tears welled in her eyes. “N-no! N-not again… not so soon…” she whimpered as Van scooped her up and placed her in his lap, his face in her hair as she clung to him and began to cry.   
  
She couldn’t lose her mother again. Her heart couldn’t take it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reviews are appreciated! They make my day!


	3. Loss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oooh boy. This chapter made me cry.
> 
> If you are triggered by the following, do not read this chapter: Death, death of a parent, death by illness, and death of a parent by illness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I KNOW IT'S SHORT AND LATE. THIS WAS HARD FOR ME TO WRITE. I HAVE OTHER EDEN STORIES TO SATISFY YOU.
> 
> If you are triggered by the following, do not read this chapter: Death, death of a parent, death by illness, and death of a parent by illness.

The following days passed with agonizing slowness, Eden spending every day at her mother's bedside, getting her everything she needed. Often she fell asleep in the chair by her mother’s bed, waking in her own room the next morning, having been tucked in.

It was three days later that Alphonse came into the room, bare feet moving over the floor with little noise as he walked over. “Sissa, Mama?” his small voice broke the tense silence of the room, and Eden’s bloodshot eyes lifted to look at her brother. His night shirt was trailing the ground behind him - she knew for a fact it was one of their dad’s - a blanket clutched in his small fist. He rubbed one eye with a small fist, sniffling.

“Come here, baby.” Trisha said weakly, reaching a pale hand out to her little boy, who rushed over to scramble onto the bed with her. Her hand brushed over his head, smoothing down the blonde mess as he sniffled.

“Don't go, Mama. Please don't go.” Alphonse begged, tears in his eyes as he grabbed onto her, clinging to her, unwilling to let go.

Eden’s breath caught in her throat and she stood, looking away from the two as she left the room with tears in her eyes.  _ I have to be strong, for Alphonse. He can't see me like this. _ She thought, balling her fists. She went into to her room and shut the door, before crawling onto her bed and curling into a ball.

She didn't realize she was crying until her pillow felt cold, but she didn't stop. “What do you have against me!? Haven't you done enough?” she sobbed, not really knowing who she was talking to. The universe as a whole would be her best guess. “I JUST WANTED MY MOM!” she half screamed, before breaking into broken sobs that sent her body rocking in the bed.

Eden didn't hear the door open, but she felt the weight that settled on her bed immediately. “Eden… I'm sorry.” Van’s voice filtered through her ears as one of his hands brushed down her back and back up again, a soft rubbing. She curled up tighter as she continued to sob. She heard her father take in a sharp breath before he continued. “Your mother wants to see you, Eden… Will you walk or do you want me to carry you?” he asked.

Eden shook her head quickly. “I c-can’t,” she choked out, before her knuckles turned white with the force she put on them in balling her fists up.

“Are you denying her the chance to say goodbye?” Van asked, even as he put his arm under her legs and back, scooping her up and holding her in as comforting  a grip as he could manage.

Eden fell quiet at that, sniffling as he carried her back to her mother's room. Van’s sorrowful gaze met Trisha’s as he set their daughter on the bed beside his love, before leaving the room to let them talk.

Eden wiped her eyes repeatedly before she looked up at her mother, who watched her with sad yet glassy eyes. “Mom,” the younger-bodied one began, “I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.” She took in rapid breaths, trying to calm down and failing.

“Eden, my darling little girl… Don't feel guilty for this.” Trisha spoke, voice quiet and raspy from illness, reaching out a pale and trembling hand to brush along her daughter's cheek and catch a missed tear. “Please, don't,” she said, tears in her clouded eyes, she was fading and fast, but she wouldn't let go until she would be at peace.

“I can't lose you again, please don't die,” Eden shook, gripping onto her mother's hand like a lifeline. “I've lost you once, I can't do it again. Please, Mom. Don't go.”

It showed how far Trisha was gone when she didn't question her daughter's words. “I'm sorry, sweetheart,” she whispered, “I love you, baby girl. Remember that I love you,” then a sigh, and the hand Eden held in a vice grip went lax, head turning sideways. Eden reached up and closed the blank green eyes of her mother before she broke, letting out a wail of grief.

The door opened immediately and Van rushed into the room. He pulled Eden away from the body and into his arms, carrying her out as the doctor - whom had arrived only shortly before - entered the room. Van said nothing as Eden’s sobbing wails ripped through her, his own eyes were wet.

It was a dark day in the Elric house, despite the sun that shone outside the curtained windows. Eden didn't know how she would be able to keep moving, this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> REVIEW. PLEASE.


	4. Aftermath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here ya animals! I kid, I kid. I'm sorry this chapter took so long, this has been a busy bit of time for me, and I wanted it to be better than the last one!

   “Eden, it's time to come upstairs.” Van stood at the top of the stairs into the basement, crossing his arms. It'd been a long and painful year of grieving, since Trisha died, and Eden, as was her habit from her past life, turned to alchemy once more to cope.

   She didn't have any intention to try human transmutation, she'd promised that already, but she also didn't want to risk trying to use her alchemy without a circle. Instead, she spent hours in the basement, slaving over anything she could get her hands on that was written by an alchemist, cracking their codes and learning everything she could, while also conducting her own research.

    “Is it so late already?” Eden looked up from the book currently in her lap, up at Van. His reply was a silent nod that had her standing and heading up the stairs, closing the door behind her and locking it with the key around her neck. She couldn't trust that Alphonse wouldn't try anything… foolish.

    “Winry came by,” Van began as the two of them walked toward the dining room of the small home. “Apparently, someone had come to the shop and asked about my whereabouts. Someone in the military.”

    “A Lieutenant Colonel?” Eden couldn't help but ask, looking up at her father. She didn't feel any hope. At least, not in the way one might expect. She was in the body of a child, now. And he… he was well into his adult years. Her mind being older than his aside. She didn't dare to hope, or feel disappointment.

    “You know him?” Van asked, wondering just what his twice-living daughter had done her first time around.

    “Married him. Not that it matters,” she replied, but hurried her pace as his slowed in surprise, soon thereafter arriving in the dining room and taking her seat across from Alphonse.

    Her brother glared at her. Not a surprise, he hadn't even spoken to her since the first week after the funeral. Not since he tried to convince _her_ to do human transmutation and she'd told him no.

    “Alphonse… never mind,” Eden shook her head, as Van took his place at the table, prompting the two siblings to start eating the simple dinner on their plates. Their father was no cook, but it was edible.

    Halfway through the baked chunks of potato on Eden’s plate, someone knocked on the door with two loud thumps. Not Winry, Winry had a key. Pinako never came without Winry. Den didn't knock, as he was a dog. The local butcher wouldn't come at this time of day, which left… _Military._ Eden’s mind supplied. “I'll get it.” Alphonse said curtly, getting up before Eden could interject and going to the door.

    “Is your father home?” It was Roy's voice. Younger than she even remembered, somehow both more weary and less weary at the same time, but it left her heart skipping beats. Then made it stop. She wasn't getting involved with Roy again. She'd avoid him. Well,after this time of course.

    “Yes, sir, he is, should I-” Alphonse was interrupted by the Lieutenant Colonel entering the house, Riza behind him. “Hey you can't just come in here!”

    Van stood calmly, “Alphonse, sit down,” he told the boy, who hesitated before obeying, with a glare at the two who had entered. The only one who noticed Eden leave was Riza, who watched the girl slip down the stairs before looking back to Van when he calmly started speaking.

*

   Eden headed down to the basement, footsteps making little noise as she headed down into what had become her room of self-isolation. Plans laid out across the floor, a map of Amestris in the center with the circle mapped out. “Roy is upstairs… I should set my plan into motion… but it's not ready yet!” she frustratedly sighed. “I'll gain his trust. Somehow… but I can't get too close! He can't know. He just can't…” she muttered to herself, running hands through her hair as she looked to her journal, which held every detail she remembered of her life after the transmutation that had ruined it last time.

     _“You can't wait to tell me forever.”_ a voice spoke from her side, and she looked up to see Roy, _her_ Roy, leaning against her desk.

    “Shut up, I'm not talking to you.” Eden grunted, looking away. He'd been there from the beginning, she knew he was a figment of her imagination, crafted by her exhausted and overworked mind, but she couldn't make herself say that out loud. It hurt too much.

     _“Then you must be talking to me, Alchemist, how sweet of you to acknowledge my existence.”_ Then there was Truth, sitting on the edge of her desk and giving her his standard faceless grin.

    “Not you either, I’m talking to myself!” Eden shouted in response angrily.

     _“That’s the thing, Alchemist, I am a part of you… So any anger directed at me is really self-loathing.”_ Truth said, before disappearing when she looked straight at him. Once he did and she was left ‘alone,’ she sunk down to her knees and held back a scream of frustration.

   What was she going to do to stop everything from happening again? She couldn't bear it, she barely was handling her mother's death for the second time. She couldn't even manage to save her own mother, how would she be able to keep anyone else alive?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooh, Eden's close to a massive breakdown... or is she having one? Hehe!
> 
> Comments and kudos are appreciated! Nice comments make me work faster! Tell me what you liked in this chapter!


	5. Update

This is just a quick update... this story will never be continued, and I'm not 'adopting' it out either.

The reason why is simple: the FMA Fandom completely ruined the show for me to an extreme point. It happened months ago, but I should probably explain why there will be no more updates.

Thank you all for your support.


	6. Update : Gonna regret this

Against my... better judgment, I am going to rewrite this story. A lot will be changed. But, keep an eye on my profile for when I upload the new version. Maybe bookmark the series.

 

Bye.


	7. Final update

_**The new version is up.** _

**Author's Note:**

> Reviews are appreciated!


End file.
